~ KIAMOY ~

What if and How would u feel if.. if you're still bitter?

2006-10-16T18:15:00.001+08:00

WARNING: This entry is cheesy so for those who doesnt want to talk or read about love, BACK OFF! please.. **wink**

please just read this conversation of JOEVHEL and a guy that i'll hide as JJ.. lolz.. names will be bleeped to keep those persons' privacy... ok?

JJ : grabe joevhel
JJ : niligawan ata ni *bleep* si *bleep* ... sakit.. pramis.. but di nako masama loob kay *bleep*...

You have just sent a Nudge!

JOEVHEL: oh eh ano nmn ngun
JOEVHEL: eh hndi naman kayo ni *bleep*
JOEVHEL: d rin nmn kayo ni *bleep*
JJ: napaka-numb naman ng reply mo..
JOEVHEL: eh ganun tlga noh
JOEVHEL: tska isa pa
JJ: parang di ka kaibigan
JOEVHEL : ikw n rin ang ngsbi n may mahal k ng iba
JOEVHEL : hoy
JOEVHEL : cnsbhan lng kta
JOEVHEL : un ang icpin mo
JJ: meron na but im still hurt.. alam mo naman bitter pako kay *bleep*
JOEVHEL : kaya ka kc nsasaktan, kc d k p ngmomove on
JJ: which means i ve not moved on totally yet
JOEVHEL : u keep on saying n ngmoved on ka na
JOEVHEL : pero tingin ko sau
JOEVHEL : hndi pa
JJ: kaksabi ko lang eh
JOEVHEL : kaya nga
JOEVHEL hahaha
JJ: sabi ko nga di pako nagmove on
JJ: sabi ko lang may mahal nako iba
JJ: and that's possible naman
JJ: ang sakit lang...
JJ .: *bleep* made me fall so hard for him.. i didnt intend to... and then he hurt me.. and it was a really very bad and hard fall...
JJ: i still have bruises of it up to this moment as we speak..
JOEVHEL : kaw nmn jj
JOEVHEL: ang hirap nmn sau
JOEVHEL: d k n ntuto
JJ: u should feel how hurt i am
JOEVHEL: actually, wla ka dpt sisihin kundi srili mo rin
JOEVHEL : kelan k b matututo
JJ: marami lumalabas sa isip ko na ganitong salita na di ko palagi sinasabi
JOEVHEL : knowing u, mkakamove on ka rin
JOEVHEL : kaw pa
JJ: pain is consuming but i need to be strong
JOEVHEL : uu nmn noh
JOEVHEL : kaw pa
JJ: im trying to heal...

This is about a very good friend and a past someone that has hurt me (not implying that he intended to hurt me though..) that is getting along very well. I don't want to get sympathy or anything of similar sort... I just want to get different perspectives and views about this. How would u feel if someone from your past that you haven't really had a good ending with comes back but now to woo a very close friend of yours? Because honestly... Damn! it really hurt my ego... sa dami-daming tao ba naman, bakit kaibigan ko pa.. haaaayz.. but that's life.. ehehe..

WARNING:

2006-10-16T18:15:00.000+08:00

The Multidimensional Scale of Sexuality

2006-09-10T16:37:00.000+08:00

The Multidimensional Scale of Sexuality

According to my answers, it is likely that I identify as
Past heterosexual, currently homosexual.

Complete set of results

Past heterosexual, currently homosexual:

According to your answers, it is likely that you identify as Past heterosexual, currently homosexual.
Complete set of results

Past heterosexual, currently homosexual: 4
Homosexual with some heterosexuality: 2
Heterosexual with some homosexuality: 1
Homosexual: 1
Sequential bisexual: 1
Asexual: 0
Concurrent bisexual: 0
Heterosexual: 0
Past homosexual, currently heterosexual: 0

The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid

2006-09-10T16:21:00.000+08:00

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid

I scored an average of 2.67

Meaning
This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:
0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual

Summary
The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person's sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person's lifespan. While a person's number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like "homosexual", "heterosexual", and "bisexual" need not be the only three options available to us. See also the page about methods of measuring sexual identity.

ALL ABOUT ME ~reprise~

2006-06-10T18:42:00.000+08:00

hmmm... i just said on my previous entry na i've learned a lot na din from my previous experiences... at least i thought i have already learned my lessons. hehehe.. but just a very short while ago, what i realized was it's not that easy to do things such as those things that i've said. uhmmm.. like using your head a bit more... i thought i already did and that it would at laast save my ass from being hurt... pero bakit ganon... di na nga nag-expect, gumamit na ng utak.. masakit pa rin. does it mean that i'm just concealing my true feelings just like a defense mechanism? i think it's getting clearer na ganon nga.. kase i was still hurt although at least not that much but the point is, im still hurt which defeats the purpose of why im doing something like a "change of attack or tactics." Sabi ko nga im protecting myself from getting hurt pero first line of defende pa lang.. tinamaan kagad ako... hahaay.. ang gulo ng mundo.. lolz... sabi naman ng friend ko it takes time daw and at least this time, ginamit ko daw utak ko at least sa pag-aakala ko.. and i know what he implies... well.. sana nga... pero like i've said on the original version, i'm not chaing the way that i follow my emotions more but this time, un nga, i need to use a little bit more of my head. kumbaga, be rational pa rin kahit na intense ang feelings... tsk..

ang masasabi ko nalang.. tuloy ko lang muna ung bago kong tactics and i'll be a little bit more apprehensive and the most important of them all, BAHALA NA SI BATMAN.. lolz ..

Going ga-ga over CHARMED

2006-06-06T20:05:00.000+08:00

I know this entry is almost a decade late but what the heck, I still love it. Actually, a lot of my friends have been watching the series for quite a long time now. Im just not sure though if they've watched the series from its pilot episode. There were times in the past when I saw a couple of episodes but since I wasnt an avid follower, I didn't really know anything about the series except for t'was about three sisters being witches fighting evil using their powers. And when I got to watch an episode before, I always had a lotta questions to my friends on who's who... what's what.. etc.. The reason that I wasn't able to follow the series (even though I really like the plot and to think the setting is in San Fo) was that I havent watched the pilot season and for me, it really is hard to follow any series if you were'nt able to start it from the very beginning. The same reason I haven't followed FRIENDS. But just three weeks ago, my padmate bought CHARMED pilot season dvd's and i was able to watch some of the episodes and i'd say t'was really addicting. I even got late because of watching it. lolz.. I was able to understand who really they were and answered some my questions about the it. Last week, that same padmate of mine bought the second season dvd's and we already started watching it. Although I still miss some of the episodes, I still enjoyed those that I saw and I'd say I'm already loving the show. I love the concept, I love the sisters and I love Prue(Shannen Doherty). It's just so bad that the producers had to "kill" her character because according to my research(LOLZ).. Alyssa and Shannen just can't seem to work good together and one had to go. Alyssa tried to leave as well but since Shannen already told the producers she will leave the show, the producers asked Alyssa to stay. Anyways, it's just a frustration for me because Shannen's character is my favorite not to mention that she's also the sexiest and the prettiest for me among the sisters. Hmmm...

I think I'm going to watch the succeeding seasons even without Prue. **SOB** I'm not sure though if it's already on season 6 or 7 here in the Philippines; because in the US, Charmed is on its final season and is almost on their series finale.

Anyhow.... =)

a forwarded text and a spam e-mail

2006-06-06T15:22:00.000+08:00

My "ex" once texted me this when we were in the verge of going on separate ways:

"it's best to w8 4 d 1 u want, dan 2 settle 4d1 available; best 2 w8 4 d 1 u luv, dan 2 settle 4 d1 around; best 2 w8 for d ryt 1 coz lyf is 2 short 2 waste on d wrong 1."

hmmm.. in contrast i received this spam e-mail from a friend. Here it goes:

"THE BUS ********

Love is like waiting for a bus.

When the bus comes, you look at it and you say to yourself "eeee...so full....cannot sit down, I'll wait for the next one."

So you let the bus go and waited for the second bus.

Then the second bus came, you looked at it you said, "eeee...this bus is so old...so shabby!"

So you let the bus go and again, decided to wait for the next bus.

After a while another bus came, it's not crowded, not old but you said, "eeee...not air conditioned ... better wait for the next one."

So again you let the bus go and decided to wait for the next bus.

Then the sky started to get dark as it was getting late. You panicked and jumped immediately inside the next bus. It is not until much later that you found out that you had boarded the wrong bus!

And you wasted your time and money just to get into the wrong one!

Even if an air conditioned bus comes, you can't ensure that the air conditioned bus won't break down or whether or not the airconditioner will be too cold for you.

Wanting to get what you want is not wrong. But it wouldn't hurt to give other people a chance. If you find that the "bus" doesn't suit you just press the red button and get off the bus! Hey, who said life is fair???

The best thing to do is be observant and open-minded. If it doesn't suit you, get off.

I'm sure you've had this experience before. You saw a bus coming (the bus you want of course).

You flagged it but the driver acted as if he did not see you and zoomed pass you! It just wasn't meant for you!

The bottom line is, being loved is like waiting for a bus you want. Getting on the bus and appreciating the bus by giving it a chance depends totally on you. If you haven't made any choice, WALK!

Walking is like being single. The good side of it is you can still choose any bus you want...the rest who couldn't afford another ride would just have to be content with the bus they rode on, ugly or not.

Also, sometimes it is better to choose a bus you are already familiar with rather than to gamble with a bus that is unfamiliar to you. But then again, life wouldn't be complete without the risks involved.

But there is one bus that I failed to tell you about.- the Bus you do not have to wait for, the Bus that will stop on its own and ask you if you wish to come inside, then take you for a joy ride for the rest of your life.

Hope you get to ride on that bus! :)"

Life is but full of choices. Happiness is in your hands and not with others. If you want to be happy, you can make it happen. So it's up to you on what's better to believe from the two articles. ;-)

HELP!

2006-05-19T16:13:00.000+08:00

guys... im going to buy a new cell phone this june and im planning to buy a Motorola RAZR v3i unit. It's one of the two new razr units by motorola. Honestly, this fone got my attention because of its stylish and elegant look. Yoko kase ng sobrang classic kaya i eliminated Motorola SLVR sa possible list ko. Gusto ko kase sa v3i eh ung good looks and features nya na hinahanap ko. .. may removable/expandable memory, 1.23 megapixel digicam, mp3 player and others... eto lang kaseng tatlo ung first three important things to consider for me.. ok lang kahit hindi 3g phone like RAZR v3x... =) un nga lang... im hearing some bad things not only about v3i but also with Motorola's configuration in general.. nasanay kase tayong mga pinoy sa nokia kaya nasanay ang mga service provider sa configuration ng nokia... i heard that ung mp3 daw e di pede maisend even thru blue tooth... may compatibility problems daw..

anyways... kung may suggestion kayo for me... post naman kayo ng comments... ang kelangan ko eh ung phone/digicam/mp3 player in one classy at stylish at ung may removable/expandable mem... at higit sa lahat eh ranging from 12-14k... hehehe... =) Motorola RAZR v3i costs between the range i gave...

for now... un muna ang final pick ko... =)

Senti muna... guys comments naman please...

2006-05-15T15:51:00.001+08:00

i've been thinking about this matter for a lifetime now... up to this point, di ko alam ang sagot... guys... i need your comments on this one...

there are times that we complain or feel sorry for ourselves when we fall in love at the wrong time, or with the wrong person... sometell us to fight for what we feel or for the person that we have a strong feelings for... but having experienced it before, i would say it's still easier said than done.. but it's an entirely different topic..

now.... what if you THINK that the right person is right there in front of you... a very ideal kind of person... goodlooking/attractive, understanding, kind and nice, sweet, intelligent, loyal and faihtful and most of all, that person admires/loves you so much... damn... would you let the person pass by just like that? or would you think hard or be wise enough to decide on what should be better for you at the present?

the catch: you do not have strong feelings for him/her despite the fact that the person is one in a million... or it could also be that you do not have any feelings for the person at all...

what would you do and how would you do it?

comments please... thanks po.. =)

devirginized!

2006-05-11T15:51:00.000+08:00

just yesterday, i had my first minor operation(except of course when i was circumsized which i don't like to think as an operation although technically it is.... hehe) at makati medical center scheduled at 4:00pm... i had to drop by my bestfriend's girlfriend working at Philam Life Tower. I was in Philam at around 3:30 and left there at 3:45. My plan was just to walk my way from Philam to Makati Med but unexpectedly, it suddenly rained so i just took a cab to Makati Med. I was in Makati Med by 4:05 and went straight to the Operating Room as pre-instructed to me 2 days ago when i had a checkup. I was accomodated by the OR desk at around 4:10 and had me fill out a form before the operation. After that, they had me change my clothes to a hospital gown and had me takeoff everything except for my undies of course.. after that, they brought me to the room where i'd be operated. The assisting doctor, Dr.Santos, accompanied me there, where she together with a lady nurse had me lie on the bed. Dr. Santos was a beautiful doctor and she was really so nice that she talked to me once in awhile maybe just to calm me or take my tension away. The truth is, i wasnt really that nervous or tensed. I just felt a bit since it was my first time. Next thing the lady doctor did was to clean the area that needs excision and they like tied me on the bed and covered my whole body except for my... **bleep** .. lolz.. anyways.. it was a small lump of mass slightly behind and below my left ear.. hehe.. so as i was saying, it was only that part that was left exposed. I think it was 4:40pm when i last glanced at the wall clock and a few seconds later, I already heard my doctor arrive and was talking about the procedure. Dr. Pat Guzman started talkng to me and said that he would inject the anaesthesia already and it would be a bit painful... but actually, it wasnt... hehe... the next thing i knew, they were suctioning "it" already and I was singing "mass songs" in my mind to relax myself.. hehehe.. it didnt really take that long but there was some part of the operation that was a bit painful and i think i felt they had to "anaesthesize" me again. And it was only through the end of the procedure, when i heard Dr. Santos asking the nurse to cut the thread that i learned that they had made a small cut in my skin before the suction and needed stitches. And i was like thinking, "di naman pala masakit kahit may stitches... hehe," and i was so proud of myself. hehehe... Then, everything was taken off of me and they had to make the bandage exaggeratedly big since the doctor said that i'm a bleeder(i already thought i was but only emotionally... haha.. cheesy...)... and they even had to prescribe me a medicine to slacken(tama ba ung word for the sentence.. lolz) the bleeding... I put my clothes back on again, got my prescriptions from Dr. Santos and then I walked out of the hospital with my chin up.. (kahit may malaking bandage from the lower part of my ear to my chin).. hehehe...

and this is the story on how i got devirginized.. lolz

bakit f4?

2006-04-30T19:47:00.000+08:00

jologs na kung jologs but my barkada back in college was known as F4. hmmm... not only because apat na lalaki kame at isang chinese(half) na babae, and also sikat na boyband sila, but for other reasons which are a bit more significant naman... hehe... of course it was the time when f4 is a big hit in the Philippines through their series, Meteor Garden. My barkada is composed of PJ, Erik, Jayson, Chao, and me, and then sheila later on. PJ, my best bud, is the only son of one of our Universities VP's... a very nice and cool friend but he's a brat at times (sorry pj.. hehe). Erik is my bestfriend and known to be the chickboy(not chick/boy.. lolz) of the group. Jayson is the happy-go-lucky type and is very bubbly. Chao, whom we used to call San Xiao, is half Chinese and the only girl in the group, and since highschool(she's my classmate in highschool too), she was being tagged as "one of the boys" type of girl(may pagka-maton din). Sheila is the silent type but when you get to know her, you will realize that she's also cool and also has her wild side. Sheila came to the picture when she became PJ's girlfriend and it was right on time when the season 2 of meteor garden started which introduced another love interest for the lead actor in the series... And lastly, ako... hmmm actually ako lang walang matching character don, pero when i was in college(at least) a lot of people said i looked like one of the characters from the series(F4... hehehe...). And matching my friends characters from the lead cast, just see who remained and he was my counterpart in the group.. **grin** Each of us has a character matching to the characters of F4 in Meteor Garden(except for me i think.. )... aside from the fact that we are all goodlooking guys... hahahaha... (sabi nga nila, love your own)... i should say we're pretty much known in the university as well since we're performers and we were able to establish a fan-base(?)... naaah... heheh.. we made a name and i'd say that we get respected as well. But in contrast, we're no bullies and badboys because all of us are friendly and loved..(lakas... hahaha).

ano pa ba? uhhhmmm... if u wanna know who the character from the series that they insisted(what a word.. hahaha)to look like me, let's discuss it here.. hehe.. post lang kayo ng comments nyo... it was just good na any of these guys do not have multiply account... hahaha... but seriously( .. =D ) ... the information i just shared are all based on facts and are not just created by my wild imagination... hehehe

old but new...

2006-04-30T18:34:00.000+08:00

Just today i was so excited to chat with pj, my best bud back in college. He's back in LA after his homecoming last Feb... Now, what was the reason for being excited? hmmm... at long last, he's sent me some of our pics when he came home... Some of them are the pics i was waiting for decades now which are the pics taken from Galera last Feb. Even though he wasnt able to send me all the pics, i was just equally thrilled to see them since i was really waiting for sheila(pj's girl) to bring the cd of those pics here in makati but for some reason, our schedules don't meet. hmmm.. anyways... if u wanna see the pics im talking about, check 'em out in my gallery... and you'll meet my college best buds... we were actually known as the F4... and the story continues... =)

a story only a true-blue batangueño would understand... this is hilarious.. =)

2006-04-29T21:22:00.000+08:00

(Babala: isang kuwento na tanging tunay na Batangueño lang ang makakaintindi!)

Dine sa Tuklong ay may puno ng kape na arugang-aruga pa ng Mamay. Sadyang pinapugadan sahantik na guyam at pinabantayan sa bilot. Isangaraw, naaulutang ngatain ng Mamay ang bubotna parang sinturis. Pasal na pasal. Nang bigla nalang siyang napaumis, humirindat at tuluyan ngnabang-aw. Bigla na lang nagpatikar, lumiban ngkarsada kahit umaambon, naglulupagi sa gabokankaya puro libag, tubal na tubal, talipa ang sipit atgura. Napadpad ang Mamay sa masukal nabalinghuyan at doon naulutang gamitin ang kawotpara garutihin ang mga bangkalang. Pero liyo atparang barik na barik pa rin ang Mamay kayanaghamon pa ng panumbi. Wala namang kumanakaya pagerper na lang ang napagdiskitahan.Pagkatapos ng barokbokan, lungkuyin at hapong-hapo ang Mamay. Naging matalute ang usapan sabayaran dahil mulay lang ang gustong ibayad ngMamay. Nagkaribok na, nagwasang ang pagerperat tinangkab ang Mamay. Nagligalig ang Mamaydahil sa marami daw kato, amoy hawot at makatipa sa iladong tulingan. Dapat kitse lang daw angbayad. Sa pagkabanas ay napaingles angMamay ? "I am entitled for senior citizen discount!!Wala kang galang sa matanda, dapat kangipabarangay. Siguro hindi ka taga Batangas ano?"Naglabas na ng balisong ang Mamay.

courtesy of a college schoolmate. =)

Eight below

2006-04-28T03:08:00.000+08:00

it's 3:06am, April 28, Friday...im still at work while im creating this entry... =)

Kanina or should i say kagabi, i watched a movie with two of my friends na di ko na nakaksama. we watched "eight below" kase i was with two dog-lovers at gusto talga nila mapanood yung movie and somehow, kahit di ako ganon ka-dog-lover, i enjoyed the movie naman. May part dun na muntik na talaga ako maiyak because something happened which i wont be revealing at this point para di ko ma-spoil yung mga manonood pa pag sinabi ko ung nangyari. Hmmm... ok nman yung movie somehow except for some parts na mejo boring. Right after the movie, i was about to go to work na for my rest day - overtime... haaay... kelngan eh... on my way to mrt ayala station, i passed by bread talk at G4 and i checked the breads and pastries there then decided to buy a couple... hehe.. i also bought something at mcdonald's for dinner then i went straight to the office na.. grabe... i should be resting or nasa gimik at this time pero i chose to be here in the office to work(as if i have a choice.. hehe..) ... ayun... im just waiting for 6am para makauwi na... im going out again later this afternoon.. =) and i'll be sleeping the entire day... **hikab**

disappointed...

2006-04-26T20:39:00.000+08:00

i'm really upset since i was really excited about having created my new account at multiply.com(this entry was imported from my blogger account..) but since im creating my entries here in the office, i'd have to use a proxy or anonimizer just to enter multiply.com. I thought everything should be ok after that but I was really so disapppointed to learn that I won't be able to create an entry while using an anonimizer... Grrr.. It was just good that I still have my blogger account and I can continue creating my post here(blogger) then have it transferred to my multiply account. Mejo confusing but for my next entries, i'll just create my entries as usual.. =)

Anyways, just because of this, i was thinking if i should buy a laptop pc cuz all my personal files are saved here in my workstation plus the most usual thing that I do during my off is going online and everytime I go online during an off, I'd have to rent a PC at a net cafe. Sabi nga ng isang friend ko, sa laki ng nagagastos ko renting out sa netcafe, it should have been enuf to buy a second hand laptop pc.. hehe... ayun.. so what i plan right now is to look for an inexpensive, brand new lap top pc na ok ung specs.. im not that techie kase kaya im asking the help of my friends din to help me. hmmm.. pede din second hand pero kelangan na recommended by an expert or kilala ko ung nagbenta... no definite price range in mind yet pero as i've said, i prefer a brand new na di masyadong mahal pero good buy... ayun.. =)

test entry... =)

2006-04-26T09:26:00.000+08:00

this is just a test entry for my multiply.com home page.. =) welcome to my page and enjoy reading... please post your comments freely as well... Thanks!

the cool breeze is here again....

2005-12-06T15:29:00.000+08:00

haaay... lumalamig na ang hangin... andami ng lanterns and lights sa streets... mga christmas shoppers... i cant' believe that the most favorite day of the year (aside of course from my birthday) is fast approaching again... pero bakit ganon? parang kulang.. parang im not that excited... not that intense... tsk... ewan ko ba... i always try my best to be happy kahit alam kong may hinihintay ako to make myself satisfied... basta... isang malaking ewan... im trying my damn best pero unconsciously kulang pa ren... i'm trying to go out on dates... actually, last week eh lumbas kame ng "ex" ko... and i can still feel na may special pa rin sa'min dalawa... yung hawak sa kamay nya... yung haplos ng kamay nya sa mukha ko... ganun pa ren.. di nagbabago... and just last night.. i was really not feeling well... actually, absent ako sa work ko... i texted my "ex" i was not feeling well... im ill... nagtext back sya... made sure if i was ok... i think it was really sweet since di na sya naka-sun ngayun... heheh... magdodoctor kase sya eh... he really made sure im ok... and suddenly when we hung up.. i felt bad... depressed... i felt alone... na parang kulang talga ang buhay ko ngayun... i can feel deep inside na kelangan ko sya... i cried so hard... di ko alam... but just hearing the voice on the other side was enuf to make me feel good... haaay... i hope maging ok kame... i think we're going back to dating again... wish me luck...

2005-08-10T05:02:00.000+08:00

You scored as Sirius Black. You are a gifted wizard and very loyal to your allegiance. Whilst you have a big heart and care very much about those around you, you can be a little arrogant and reckless at times.

Sirius Black

85%

Ron Weasley

75%

Draco Malfoy

70%

Hermione Granger

60%

Remus Lupin

55%

Ginny Weasley

55%

Harry Potter

50%

Albus Dumbledore

50%

Severus Snape

40%

Lord Voldemort

35%

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com

the past 3 weeks or so...

2005-08-10T04:50:00.000+08:00

hmm... hirap magrecollect ng memories for the past weeks na nagdaan... pero i think na the past weeks na di ako nagpost here e sobrang concentrated lang ako sa work... wala masyado extra-curricular... ibig sabihin, office-bahay ako almost the whole month of july... hehehe... unlike the past month pati, di na din ako nakakapanuod ng movie msyado... dami ko din ata napalampas although good timing na wala din masyadong good movies na dumaan... kaya mejo ok lang... kumbaga parang wala din lang ako namiss na major hit na movie...

dates? uhmmm.. parang di din masyado... walang makadate eh.. hehe... parang ang makikita mo kase mostly eh di gusto ung serious relationship which i think eh hinahanap ko unconsciously... palagi ko kase sinasabi eh im for friendship muna but i think unconsciously eh relationship talaga gusto ko...

un lang po... hehehe...

watch out for my upcoming entries ...

2005-08-09T12:05:00.000+08:00

guys... watch out for my upcoming posts... for sure... nobela na na naman yun.. hehehe... really missed posting here... but behold cuz im back now... hehehe... ngayun pa balik nako sa 1pm-10pm na shift... woohoooo... hehehe.... till my next entries... God speed... =)

umuwi ka na baby...

2005-08-09T11:58:00.000+08:00

Hanggang Kailan

Labis na naiinip
Nababagot sa bawat saglit
Kapag naaalala ka
Wala naman akong magawa

Umuwi ka na baby
Di na ako sanay ng wala ka
Mahirap ang mag-isa
At sa gabi'y hinahanap hanap kita

Hanggang kailan ako maghihintay
Na makasama kang muli
Sa buhay kong puno ng Paghihirap
At tanging ikaw lang ang
Pumapawi sa mga luha at
Naglalagay ng ngiti sa mga labi

Di mapigilang mag-isip
O baka sa tagal
Mahulog ang loob mo sa iba
Nakaka balisa
Knock on wood wag naman sana

Umuwi ka na baby
Di na ako sanay ng wala ka
Mahirap ang mag-isa
At sa gabi'y hinahanap hanap kita

it's been a while...

2005-07-20T09:10:00.000+08:00

whoa...it's been quite a while since i posted an entry here of what has happened to my life... for almost three weeks, i've had myself busy working... working.. and just working... hehehe... not only to drive my mind away from thinking of a-not-so good-past.. but also preparing for my regularization at work.. yep.. u're right! i'm goin' to be regularized next week! after a year and so working for 3 call centers (including the one im at now..) mareregularize din ako! yipeeeee... hehehe... excited na din ako cuz this has alos been one of my reasons(kunwari) kaya di ko inaayos papers ko to leave for... still not sure where... hehe... just last week, my sister's asking me again why i'm not applying for a US visa yet...told her to give me a hundred bucks so i could... hehe.. im not sure if im ready to gamble on a hundred bucks cuz applying for a US visa is really like gambling... it's 99.9% luck and the rest? i really dont know.. hehe... and i'm not really into going abroad to wok and stay there for good... if i have the chance and the choice, i will go abroad just to visit my relatives... or maybe purely pleasure... hehe... ayun na nga... tsaka sayang naman yung pagkaregular ko sa work kung aalis kagad ako... laki pa ng tiwala saken ng mga superiors ko saken... hehehe... (pabibo!) hahaha...

hmmm... i was thinkin right before i write this entry, bakit parang walang kwenta buhay or should i say bakit walang kulay buhay ko pag wala ako lovelife??? hmmm... ganun ba talaga? or it's by choice... actually, alam ko naman sagot eh.. hehe... di ko lang alam kung ba't unconsciously eh di ko maenjoy ang pagiging single... haaaay... but anyway... at least i'm moving on na... (i'd like to think so... hehe..) yun na yung konting fun ko ngayun... goin out on friendly dates... hehe... ayun...

tapos last weekend pala, umuwi ako ng batangas... grabe... almost two months ako di umuwi... i missed my family... my nephews and nieces... my sisters... all of' em... and i could feel they missed me more... hehe... ayun... mejo nakapagrelax ako ng konti when i went home to batangas... sabi nga nung teammate ko sa work on my first shift after week's off, ok daw ung aura at itsura ko after my off... hehe... feeling ko din... kase all i did in batangas was to eat and sleep, and eat and sleep... hehehe... not to mention, eat and sleep... hahaha...

this coming off, im planning to go to pampanga... hmmm.. why??? secret na muna... baka maudlot pa... hehe... basta... =) im also planning to go out with my friends... two weeks na din ata kame di nagkikita at tagal na din ako di nakakasama sa mga gimiks nila...

o.. till here na muna...i've shared enuf... i think...

almost my mom.... =)

2005-07-12T20:40:00.000+08:00

FLASHBACK!!! mga pics namin sa fontana...

2005-07-12T13:02:00.000+08:00

from top: ang gwapong may-ari ng blog na ito!; Grand, kuya pong, nanay dyan and ate jaz; roschelle, dyan and me(with gin pomelo, hehe); AM namin, si momi RI at si daddy bry ang kanyang hubby; ate jazz, dyan and cheng; me and puccalicious; jim and dyan; randoy and dyan; me and nanay dyan; my Liebert CRC family (ate jaz, aileen, nanay dyan, yaya vangie, grand, cheng, kuya pong, at ako...) with Jim at the back...

2005-07-10T17:46:00.000+08:00

Rafael. You're most like the ArchAngel of Healing.
You want people to shape up, and you nag. But
you mean well, and you're well loved despite
it. Or because of it. You bring the donuts
even as you tell people to eat more veggies.

Which ArchAngel are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

badtrip...

2005-07-08T14:28:00.000+08:00

bakit ganon.. nagpopost ako... di ako makapagpost... kainis... haaaaayyyyyy....

2005-07-06T17:25:00.000+08:00

You scored as Cyclops. Cyclops is the team leader of the X-Men, and a skilled one at that. He loves Jean Grey very much. He's a strict and sometimes uptight leader, but he believes in his cause and he knows what he's fighting for... Peace between Mutants and Humans. Powers: Optic blasts

Cyclops

60%

Colossus

55%

Gambit

50%

Wolverine

50%

Beast

45%

Iceman

45%

Nightcrawler

40%

Jean Grey

35%

Rogue

30%

Storm

20%

Emma Frost

20%

Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz
created with QuizFarm.com

2005-07-06T17:24:00.000+08:00

You scored as Sexy. You're hot and sexy and I want to make out with you. Lol. K email me. in_the_depths_4ever@yahoo.com

Sexy

60%

Cute

30%

Ugly

10%

Are you ugly, cute, or sexy?!
created with QuizFarm.com

2005-07-06T02:13:00.000+08:00

You scored as Sexy. You're hot and sexy and I want to make out with you. Lol. K email me. in_the_depths_4ever@yahoo.com

Sexy

60%

Cute

30%

Ugly

10%

Are you ugly, cute, or sexy?!
created with QuizFarm.com

wounded... again...

2005-07-03T23:56:00.000+08:00

whoa... dunno how to start this entry... it's been a difficult day for me... errr i think difficult would really be an understatement... bakit kaya ganon? pag seryoso ako sa relationship palagi ako nasasaktan... as in... wala atang exception yan... masarap magloko pero nakakasawa din... kumbaga ung mga kasayahan na makukuha mo pag di ka seryoso eh pansamantala lang... while if you really try to be serious, ang sarap ng feeling ng nagmamahal... but in general, that's if mahal ka ng taong minamahal mo... as for me... nagmahal ako ng taong walang hiningi na kapalit... towards the start, kala ko mutual feelings namin sa isa't isa... i can still remember ung text nya telling me na ituloy ku lang yung ginagawa ko at makukuha ku na yung gustu ko... parang pangarap nalang yun ngayun... coz as days passed by, nagkaron kame ng maraming pagsubok... di pa man kame... andami ng humahadlang para maging kame... ung isip nya(i must admit, isa yun sa pinakamalaking problema at yun ang main cause ng pag-iyak-iyak ko lately...), masyado kase sya marami iniisip... there was a time na muntik na kame magpart ng ways namin "romantically" kaso i really tried my best and fought hard to save kung anu yung nasimulan namin at meron na kame... at that time, what we have was really shaken... pero i can say it made our bond stronger... lalu na on my part, mas lalu ko pina kita how much i love that person... as in... we were happy... a lot like love, mr. and mrs smith, batman begins, monster-in-law... four movies in one month... hehe, palagi kase kame nanunuod every rest day ko... we were happy(sa pagkakaalam ko), i can somehow feel naman na special ako for him... kahit every weekend, more often than not... may problema twing umuuwi sya... pero naayus everytime na bumabalik sya ng manila from alabang... every problem seemed to have always been straightened out... at last friday, t'was our first month as.... kahit na ano... di din namin alam... and that day was so special for me... sobra... and i thought that will be the good start for us dahil na rin sa isang binigay nya saken... alam nya na gustung-gustu ku yun and i was so happy that night.... i wished that night never ended... at kanina... nagtext sya saken at sabi, andami daw nya tinanong kung ano gagawin nya about "us..." and i said... kelangan ba nya talga ikonsulta sa iba kung anu nararamdaman nya??? at sabi nya... di pa din daw sya sure sa nararamdaman nya saken... baka nga daw di nya ako mahal and it would be unfair me if that would be the case... in short... parang gustu na nyang icut kung anu man meron kame at present... ok... wala ako magagawa kung un ang gustu nya... kase dalawa kame sa kung anu man relationship meron kame... i cant decide for the both us... at yun... tears started to fall... im walking along the sidewalk of ayala ave.. umiiyak... parang gago... nagtetext... saying , ok... kung yun desisyon nya... im letting go na.. kahit di naging "kame.." but that didnt mean na i gave up... di pa din nagbabago feelings ko para sa kanya... ganun ko pa din sya kamahal... but i must say... i can feel not only the pain but the restlessness... parang napapgod nako... di lang sa pagmamahal sa kanya but in general, sa pagmamahal... there's nothin left of me... naibigay ko na lahat sa kanila... im not sure kung may sukli o kapalit, kung meron man, di siguro sapat to keep me goin... at sabi ko sa kanya... if the time comes that i really would give up on us, susubukan ko muna ipahinga ung puso ko... kumbaga sa boxing o wrestling, bugbog na bugbog na yung part na pinakamasakit sayu... kumbaga, sugat na nga... nasugatan na naman... dunno when i can move on... although im not yet planning to... mahal ko sya at kagaya ng sabi ko... di pako naggive up on us kahit sya, give up na... i may have let go of what we have, but i didnt give up... im not ready yet... i'll wait for the right time... my doors are still open para sa kanya... dahil mahal ko sya... and that should be reason enough...

about love...

2005-07-03T04:48:00.000+08:00

someone special sent me this message this morning...

To love is to accept the verdict without the bitterness, without regret, without a smidgen of a doubt. When you love you will get hurt. Accept it as a fact It's part of the pain-pleasure phenomenon. You cannot love wisely because loving doesn't involve thinking. Thinking results in a conscious choice. But you cannot choose whom to fall in love with. The trick is to wait for the right time...

Hmmm... even before... naniniwala nako dito... hehe... totoo naman e... sabi ko nga sa last post ko di ba... emotions and reasons don't mix... ayun,,, thanks for sending this one... =)

looking back...

2005-06-29T08:02:00.000+08:00

hmmm... ilang araw na din since my last entry about my "career" life.. hehe... i should say na naging shaky na naman ung "kung anong relationship" meron kame... grabe... i only have my feelings for the person to hold on to... kung di ganun kalaki yun... i would have given up already... sobrang laking challenge lahat to for me ngayun... as in... di ku nga alan kung bakit ganito kalaki pagmamahal ko sa kanya... but the truth is im not searching for any reason kase nga mahal ko tlaga sya and i've always believed that you don't love a person for a reason... and i've watched a series on the tv one time... and i think i've also read it in an article that you know it's "love" when you ask try to ask yourself why and cant give a single reason... reasoning and emotions are like oil and water... they dont mix... =) you dont have to be rational when you;re in love... anyways... goin back to my story... un na nga... mejo malungkot ang mga pangyayari starting saturday... i partied last saturday with my friends but i'd say i really never enjoyed it... not beacause i didnt have fun having my friends around but ony cuz ... we're not ok... haaay...nagtext pa sya na pakasaya ako at sana makakita nako ng iba para wala na syang problema... i was on the verge of letting go then... not because i would have given up but because parang sobrang nahihirapan na sya na nasa tabi nya ako... na andito ako... sobrang sakit nun for me...ut i just let it pass... hinayaan ko na muna... kinabukasan... nag-usap kame nung umaga kase nagtext sya na tawagan ko sya... mejo di pa din kame ok... ewan ko ba... dont know why i always have the tendency na ilagay ang sarili ko sa situation na sobrang nasasaktan nako but i still seem to get up and fight for what i think is right... hay... un bang parang pinaglalaban ko lang ung nararamdaman ko not because that's all i feel but because i think the other person involved also has that feelings for me... kaso lang, masyado syang confused... in the first place, i wouldn't have gone this long kung alam ku naman na walang mangyayari talaga... although im not saying na may mangyayari for sure... what i mean there's a possibility... ayun.. nagkaron na naman kame ng di magandang conversation... and then i kept quiet for several hours after the misunderstanding... kala ko e hanggang dun nalang kame... pero nagtext sya saying namimiss nya ako... and that makes my situation more confusing... para kang nasa isang daan na nagsasanga and you don't know where to go or what road to choose from... so the tendency is just to follow your instincts and what your heart tells you to... for me obviously, it's my heart's choice first... hehe... syempre clouded na yung instinct... and yun... sabi nga namimis nya ako and parang gustu daw nya ung ganun na feeling... tapos nung gabi nagtext sya na matutulog na sya... mejo maaga pa yun... nakauwi ata ako sa bahay non eh 11 na at gising pa sya... sabi nya di daw sya makatulog... namimiss daw talaga nya ako... ewan ko ba... in my heart i am so happy... but in my mind... im really confused... the day after... kahapon un... last text nya saken eh eto...

"Haha...natawa naman ako dun. Mas lalo kitang namiss. Im luvin the feeling. =)"

tapos reply ko sa kanya... masaya ako to know that... pero what if sa sobrang miss nya saken, masanay na sya na di na kame magkasama... haaay... ang reply nya,,

"Haha. Syempre impocble yun. Pero masarap talaga ung feeling.=)"

Ang masasabi ko lang... mahal ko sya... and this friday... one month na kame na exclucive dating ang status... hehe... o di ba? never thought i can do that... most of the relationships if not all of 'em started abruptly... dunno if this one is good or bad... sa palagay mo???

ang hirap ng buhay ng petiks....

2005-06-28T06:10:00.000+08:00

kakabadtrip... pangalawa natoh na pagsusulat ko ng parehong entry kase nung ipopost ku na yung una kong ginawa eh bigla na nawala internet connection namin... potah! kainis... i have to start all over again... haaay... anyway... let's go to the topic na... alam nyu ba... ang hirap pag nalagay sa ganitong shift, 1pm-10pm... know why??? kase kelangan bago ka pumasok eh prepared ka na on what you should do for the whole 9hrs of shift... as for me... may routine nako pagkalogin at auto-in ko sa call master("specialized" telephone kung inbound ka.. hehe)... open nako msn to check on msn horoscope... lahat about my sign... pati tarot reading ko for the day... hehehe... di talaga ako believer sa ganon... parang ansaya lang pag nabasa mu na may magandang mangyayari sa araw mo tapos minsan pa eh may mga coincindences.. hehe... wala lang... after nun, chek nako ng yahoo mail ko... see if there are good emails from the group... pag wala... patay kang bata ka.. start na ng problema yun.. kase start nako ng pag-iisip kung ano susunod ko gagawin... hmm.. minsan check din ako nung iba kong email add pero minsan lang yun... swerte ko lang din kase yung isang kashift ko e
"veteran" na sa ganitong shift so she has all the "ammos." for the shift.. hehe... mga internet game sites... sounds... vcds... hahaha... minsan eh nakakadalawng muvi kame sa shift... kase nga sa ganitong shift, sobrang liit ng call volume kase madalaing araw sa US toh... kung may call, madalas emergency lang yun nga lang mejo critical, pero sanayan na din... tapos yun... minsan naman eh gagawa ako ng entry ko dito like now... yun kaseng pinapanuod ni dyan(shiftmate ko na maganda pero kung umasta e malala pa sa bading.. hehe.. pero cool at masya kasama...) eh "whit chicks" e napanuod ko na... ayun... minsan e natutulog kung puyat... kaso kelangan e sensitive ka din kase nga di mo alam kung kelan ka papasukan ng call... pero as ive said, sanayan lang din... hmmm... anu pa ba ginagawa ko sa ganito shift... hmmm... ganun lang buhay namin sa ganito shift... tatawa ka ng tatawa... kase nga sobrang kalog tong kashift ko... hehehe... hmm.. yun lang... kaya kung ako sa inyo, kung sa call center kayu nagwowork o may balak kayu magcall center... wag kayu papalagay sa ganito shift kase mahihirapan kayu... hahaha... hanggang dito nalang muna... sensya na sa walang kwentang entry... wala pako ganang mag-isip ng malalim... hehehe... see you on my next post... =))

lost...

2005-06-26T10:40:00.000+08:00

di ko alam where i am now... im lost and im tryin to find my self... although i know where i really am.. i somehow think im nowhere... i try to look for myself and still can find it but ... why do i feel im lost? im sure of where i am now... i'm also sure of where i want to go... the only problem is, im not sure if the place i wanna go and the road i wanna take will let me go to that, let me take that... still i wanna try... still i wanna pursue... to whatever it might cost me... be it pain, tears... be it blood? i dont know... i always say i know what i want, i know where i wanna go... but i think that every single day, it changes... mind changes... but for now... this very moment... im certain... i know where my heart directs and leads me to... and no one can stop me from takin that direction... i'll take that road no matter what... that's as for me anyway...

hmmm....

2005-06-26T06:55:00.000+08:00

ang kinuhanan sa picture na toh eh ang plastic cup at ang straw... =)

the truth will set you free...

2005-06-25T09:18:00.000+08:00

haay... ang sarap talaga ng feeling pag may secret ka o tinatago ka sa kaibigan mo na nireveal mo sa kanya o sa kanila... lalu na kung malapit sila sayu... nakakgaan ng loob... just like few minutes ago... i bared myself to my shiftmates kase napalapit na din loob ko sa kanila... lam mu yun, para kaseng, puno ng pretensions ang pagsasama kapag may tinatago ka... kaya cnabi ko na sa kanila... kakatuwa naman response nila... parang wala... kaya nga di ako nagsisisi na cnabi ko sa kanila... =)

speaking of truthfulness... sobrang related toh sa honesty... at may tanung lang ako about honesty... heto...

what if meron ka nagawa sa isang tao na malapit sayu... alam mu na pag nalaman ng tao na yun ung ginawa mo eh magagalit sya o magkaron kayu ng gap... would you rather tell that person the truth or be haunted by the lies that you created and pretend na walang nangyari... haaay... kase feeling ko, lalu na kung sa palagay mo e alam na nung kaibigan mo na may di maganda ka ginawa o nakakaamoy na sya na may tinatago ka na di maganda, mas ok na aminin mu na kagad kesa sa iba pa nya malaman o maconfirm... wala ka naman magagawa kase nagwa mo na eh... at least ngaing honest ka... kase para saken, kung ako ung pinagtaguan o pinaglihiman ng kalokohan ma saken ginawa ng kaibigan ko, mas parang di ko kaya makipag-usap sa kanya na parang wlang nangyari although wala ka pa confirmation... ewan ko ba... ang hirap magduda ng walang proof... pero pag pakiramdam mo ang nagsasabi sayu na obvious masyado... parang papakinggan mo pa din dikta ng utak mo... going back... parang mas gugustuhin ko pa na umamin ang mga culprit kesa maghlihim saken... kase kaya ku naman magforgive kagad... wag lang talaga ako lolokohin o gagaguhin... ;-) yun lang! BOW! hehehe...

kayu? would you rather learn of the bad thing done to you by someone who's close to you if you already have suspicions or just forget about it or ignore it as if nothin happened cuz you dont wanna face the truth cuz it will hurt u?

if only i can freeze those two days...

2005-06-25T05:19:00.000+08:00

haaaay.... it's the start of my work week again... ung mga nasa school at regular na work e lat day na of the week ngayun, ako e simula pa lang... anyway... oks lang... masaya naman... haaay... gustu ku lang kwento kung anu nangyari the past week's off ko... ung tuesday sa at wednesday e sa friend ko ako natulog... as usual... tsk.. parang di din ako nagrerent... hehe... ayun... nung tuesday e cnamahan namin friend namin sa dentist... sked nya kase pakabit ng brackets for his braces... hehehe... antakaw pa naman nun... sabi ko, mawawala takaw nya... tapos nung gabi, aba, shawarma pa din kame at tinitiis nya talaga ang sakit... kinabukasan, mangiyak-ngiyak na sya sa sakit, sabi namin sa kanya, well.. it reall is difficult to always look good... hehehe... anyway... nung hapon non, bumili ako ng ice cream para kay... secret... ehehe... tapos dinala ku sa condo nila... di na namin kinain... umalis na din kame puntang rob... sobrang enjoy ako nun kase super ok ang mood nya... as in... nag-usap kame ng maayos at nagkaintindihan naman kame... nasabi ko sa kanya lahat ng nasa lob ko including my last blog entry... at kahit di kame nakarating sa isang conclusion, parang nagkaron ng konting liwanag samin pareho... especially sa kanya... tapos kumain na kame sa popeye's kasmaa isa kong friend... super sweet namin.. hehe, walang pakialam sa mundo... tapos yun, kelangan maaga sya umuwi kase maaga klase nya kinabukasan tapos may exam pa sya sa 3 subjects nya... kaya yun... pagbalik ko sa mga friends ko, after ihatid sya... nagtext sya saying na nag-enjoy sya at naliwanagan nga sya... successful daw ako that night(parang qpids... hahahah)... kaya super saya ko non... as in... kinabukasan naman... hay... may di maganda akong karanasan pero di ko sheshare... diku lang alam nararamdaman towards that incident... buti nalang nagtext c S.O... hehe... pinapapunta ako sa condo nya at kakainin daw namin ice crea kasma yung mga friends nya... kukulet ng friends nya pero masaya kasama.... =) tapos naghiwlay kame for mga 2hrs kase may class pa sya... tapos after e nagkita na ulet kame... we then ate mcdo... may inexplain sya saken... mejo mahaba at complicated... nung una eh mejo nahurt na naman ako pero later nung pag-uusap e nagets ko naman sya... di pa sya ready magcommit ngayun... at yun nga, tinananong ku sya kung gustu nya ako magstay pati ung status namin ngayun... sabi nya oo daw... so yun lang, masaya nako... just means na special din ako sa kanya... haaay... after eating, muvi na kame... parang yung moment na yun ang gustu ka talaga ifreeze... kase wala talaga kame pakialam sa mga ibang nanunuod ng muvi... not that we're doing anythin bad or malaswa... super sweet lang namen... lam mu yun, nakaakap sya saken, or yung head ko e nakalean sa ulo nya tapos magkahawak both hands namin... ansaya... i wanted to stop the clock at that moment... kung pwede lang... hehehe... after nun e umuwi na kame sa condo nya... natulog... natulog at natulog... kinabukasan, nagluto sya ng food namin... tapang baboy o baka ata yun tsaka ginisa sa sibuyas na sardinas... saraaap... lalo pa sya nagluto... hehehe... tapos yun... sabay din kame lumabas kase uwi din sya alabang... pero nagpasama muna ako sa rob kase bumili ako mirror at dustpan/broom para sa matchbox... at ayun... dito nagtatapos ang aking entry ngayun... hihiihihi.... =))

torn...

2005-06-22T07:29:00.000+08:00

the past 2 days, aside from working and sleeping and other stuff... most of my times were spent to thinking, thinking, and thinking again... i was contemplating so hard if what i'm doing right now is right or should the question be what i'm feeling at the moment is right... sometimes, for me at least, i find it hard to use my mind when my heart has a lotta questions... i still try to solve them by trusting what and how i feel... because for me, if you're heart is in question, or it has a lot of questions, it would really be hard to dig for reasons... to be rational... haaay.. pati tuloy ako nagugulo habang sinusulat ko toh... ang hirap kase iplaiwanag... cuz until now, when youre at that situation or this kind of situation im on now, it seems that you're lost... you're getting nowhere...

being more concrete and more specific, in my situation, it takes a lot of thinking to do... anu bang dapat gawin? tama ba kung eto gagawin mo? ready ka ba sa mga consequences kung eto gagawin mo?... and a lot more ... yan ung mga tanong na papasok sa isip mo... gugulo sa utak mo... kukuwestyon sa nararamdaman mo... mahirap talaga... concrete? specific? indi pa rin eh... teka... eto na talaga...

hmmm... pag may mahal ka... as in ung totoong meaning ng pagmamahal that you will do everything and anything possible para lumigaya lang sya... kahit masakit sayu... un... halimbawa, mahal na mahal mu un tao... kaso di alam nung tao na yun kung mahal ka nya talaga o kung ano totoo nararamdaman nya sayu... di mu alam kung natatakot sya masaktan ka or kung natatakot sya masaktan in the future... kase kung natatakot sya masaktan ako, i think it will be unfair for me kase he's deciding for my future... kase, kung ngayun ako tatanungin, i really don't care kung masaktan nya ako in the future... nasa amin naman yun eh kung sasaktan namin ung isa't isa sa hinaharap di ba? well if it's, otherwise o kung natatakot sya masaktan, i can guarantee that person naman na mamahalin ko sya till i can... or should i say kahit di ko na kaya, susubukan ko pa din kayanin kase nga mahal ko sya...

the options now are: to let go, to wait for a decision, or to wait for yourself to reach your saturation point, ung kumbaga, nailabas mo na lahat ng kaya mo, naibigay mu na lahat ng posibleng bagay pero wala pa din... di ko alam kung ano tamang gawin... o pwede din to suggest or propose an idea... ung parang experimental o test lang... (explain ko later...)

unang option: if i let go... sobrang sakit para saken... as in... kase ngayun, wala na talaga ako "extra curricular".. as in... sa kanya na halos umiikot ang mundo ko... pero kung dun sya magiging masaya. tatanggapin ko... naiisip ko kase minsan, kaya sya mas madalas depressed e kase dumadagdag pako sa mga iniisip nya... hayyy... kakaiyak naman...

2nd option: kung hihintayin ku decision nya... maaring masaktan ako, maari din naman maging masaya... if he wants me to stay to be his friend, masakit yun kase yun lang mai-ooffer nya pero dahil mahal ko sya, iaaccept ko yun... pero sabi nga, feelings are not like open wounds that heals fast(unless may diabetes ka)... kaya until di pako nakakamove on in case that would be the case, di ko pa kaya makita or makasama sya... BUT if the choice iss to risk it all up for the both of us, i'd really be the happiest peron on earth... hehehe... mejo cheesy, but the hell i care... mahal ko sya eh...

3rd option: mahalin ku sya till i can and till i cant... kumbaga, eto ung martir type... mejo tanga talaga pero anu magagawa mo... mahal ko eh...

4th option: magsuggest ng way para maresolve lahat ng problema..
4A (positive approach)-> like going on a trial or experimental relationship for a few weeks or for a month... then if it doesnt work out then siguro it wont really work out for the two of us... but at least we tried di ba?

4B (negative approach)-> yun bang tipong one week trial na walang communication para subukan yung feelings nyo... if ull miss each other like hell... o kung makikipagdate ka sa iba... or kung gagawa ka ng kagaguhan o magmumukmok ka for the whole time na wala kayung communication... parang at the end, malalaman nyu kung anu dapat gawin...

i lay down all the options and now... time na para pumili sa mga option.. as for me, pipiliin ko is the last option kase un ung positive way o approach dun sa prob... kaso yun nga lang... baka sabihin nyu naman saken lang pabor... pero if u will look at it postively, yun talaga eh... i wont try the negative approach... nakaktakot eh, not for me but for the other person.. kase baka magising ka nalang kinabukasan, mas malayo na sya sa sayu... or worse, wala na sya when you wake up...

haaay.. ang sarap magmahal, pero mahirap din.. but i think that's what makes love mysterious... alam mu na na masakit.. gustu mu pa din magtry... because there's always hope that at the end, you'll live happily with your significant other...

comment naman kayu sa entry ko... ok? thanks... God Speed!

2005-06-22T04:52:00.000+08:00

Pisces - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You're very tuned into your lover's feelings - and always doing something caring.

Sweetness - you're the most romantic person your parnter has ever met.

You get easily swept away and are a total delight to fall in love with.

Your negative traits:

You are super duper sensitive and find it hard to get out of a sad mood.

It's difficult for you to tell your sweetie no, even when you should.

You often tell your partner what they want to hear, instead of being honest.

Your ideal partner:

Is straight from a fairy tale - the man or woman of your dreams

Is a total romantic, with an artistic or creative side

Loves to express their love to you, in all sorts of unique ways

Your dating style:

Dreamy. You like traditional romantic dates, like picnics in the park and candlelight dinners.

Your seduction style:

Fearless - you try what your parnter suggests, no matter how unusual.

Loving. You'll take your pleasure second, if necessary.

Internal. A lot of your enjoyment takes place within your head.

Tips for the future:

Be more realistic. Your romantic ideal is nice, but it may just not happen.

Let go of your fear of rejection - it's holding you back from being with your true love.

Open yourself up to a new love. The person you think you want make not be the one..

Best place to meet someone online:

Platinum Romance - singles who value love, romance, and caring relationships as much as you do

Best color to attract mate: Seafoam green

Best day for a date: Friday

Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

but wait... there's more... =)

2005-06-21T07:31:00.000+08:00

hmmm... cute daw toh... totoo ba??? ;-)

wala lang... hehe

pacute lang... =D

im back with my pics from fontana...

2005-06-21T07:26:00.000+08:00

oks ba?

wala lang... hehehe...

may sinisilip lang... =)

parang bahay ko villa namen noh... hihihi...

cute daw... sabi ko.. hehe

one of may most favorite songs...

2005-06-18T08:42:00.000+08:00

"If You're Not The One"

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I'll never know whatthe future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms

the past two days...

2005-06-18T05:56:00.000+08:00

hmmm... it's been two days already since i had my last post... i mean.. ung matino... hehe... my week's off was fun cuz of course i was with my friends and my S.O... ;) last wednesday, lumabas ako with jason isa kong friend and we just ate lunch at shang plaza together... wala lang kwentuhan lang... kamustahan... lakad at hanap ng sale or mura n sneakers... kaso, wala naman mura... kahit sale... tska wala din maganda so wla ako nabili.. sabi ko sa kanya eh sa glorietta nalang ako magtitingin kase punta din ako dun from shang...

so after we hanged out, naghiwalay na kame sa mrt station and i went to glorietta na... sm pa lang start na gumana mata ko sa mga sale(kunsakali meron)... at swerte, meron nga... hehe... pero sabi ko sa sarili ko e babalikan ku nalang kase hihintayin ko na lang kasama ko... sa glorietta, i started lookin for a nice and inexpensive pairs of sneakers already and eyed some good ones... ok din ung price... tapos dumating na "sya" and we ate na muna kase di pa sya kumakain ng lunch nya... wawa nga eh... straight kase klase nya from 7am-3pm... tapos lab pa kaya mga pusa hawak nya buong araw at dinisect pa... yikes... di ku maisip kung ako yun... kaya di ako nagtake ng kahit anong course related to medicine... hehehe... after wea ate out at chef de angelo's e niraid na namin mga shoe stores kase luckily, last day ng "independence day sale" nila... kaya swerte talaga... pero yun ang akala ko... hehehe... kase i was about to buy a pair na just to know at the end na ung gustu namin pareho for me e wala ng available na size... ='( kainis... excited pa naman ako kase di talaga ako mahilig bumili ng gamit for myself... sobrang once in a blue moon.. umaasa lang ako sa papadala ng mga kapatid ko saken... hehehe... or sa papasambot ng pinsan ko galing "sa abroad...(sabi nga ni chona mae*)"... hehehe... going back... ayun... so ang ending, wala ako nabili at sabi "nya" e ipunin ko nalang daw ung pambili ko ng sapatos at next payday nalang ako bumili, ung mas ok na pair na pareho din namen gustu, kaso lang e mejo mahal... hehehe... tapos sa gitna nga pala ng paghahanap namin ng sapatos e bumili na din kame ng muvi tickets for batman begins... hmm... speaking of batman... ok naman sha... di kase nakatulog kasama ko sa sinehan e kahit pahikab hikab sya kase nga pagod from school... naenjoy namin ung muvi... kakatuwa boses ni christian bale pag naka batsuit sya... parang yung sa animated batman series... if u were watchin the series before kasunod ng xmen sa dos... hehehe... after e hinatid ko na "ang kasama" ko at mejo nabadtrip pako sa cab driver namin kase "napakagulanG..." kung di lang ako pinigilan e mamumura ko talga yun... anyway... to wrap it up, masaya ako... not because of what happened... because kasama ko sya... hahaha....

sumunod na araw... dapat e di ako lalabas sa buong araw pero nag-aya friend ko sa rob... andun isa pa namin "kapatid" na si jeff... hehehe... ok na din kase punta din naman ako supposedly sa pedro gil sa hapon kase magmimeet "kame"... tapos un nga... sinundo ko na sya sa condo nya kase may pasok pa sya ng 3pm e sa rob din ang daan nya kase sa faura ung bldg ng klase nya... tapos we just agreed to meet again after ng class nya... tapos kameng apat(kasama si kim na bro ni jeff at si zig)... todo gala na...bili din sana ako ng boxers kaso puro large nalang ung sizes nila kaya good luck nalang saken... hehehe... tapos habang naglalakas kame, tinuro "sya" ni zig saken... hehehe... nagulat naman ako kase andun na pala sya... e kasma nya bestfriend nya,,, napahiya naman ako at isang matamis na ngiti lang naibigay ko sa kanila... hihihi... tapos pagtinin ko sa cell ko nagtext pala sya telling me to look behind me... kaso too late kase nasabi na saken ng friend ko na andun sya, hehe... tapos naghiwalay na muna kame... tapos nagtext sya... sabi di man lang daw ako nag-hi... sabi ko naman nahiya ako sa friend nya...tapos un....uhhmm... tapos bumili ako ng 4 na cd-r's para sa papaburn ko na cd... tapos nakakita kame ng japanese home store na 88 lang lahat ng tinda... astig nga e... as in lahat ng tinda! tapos nakabili ako ng 3 pairs of ankle socks... oks naman sya kahit 88 lang... hehe... nagtext na "sya" saken... kung san na daw ako... sabi ko nga dun ako sa japan store... tapos maya lang... may nakahawak na sa waist ko... hihihi... sha na pala.. tapos...dinner na kame with my friends... tapos we had our first pic na magkasama... tapos starbucks na... tapos kwentuhan lang... then umalis na mga friend ko kame nalang naiwan kase till 10pm pako... tapos sabi nya... may cnabi daw bestfriend nya... yaw nya sabihin kung ano... secret daw... tapos mamaya cnabi din.. sabi daw ng bestfriend nya e sagutin na daw ako... awwww.... hehehe... sabi ko sayang, sana bestfriend nalang nya niligawan ko kase kakabreak lang daw nun sa boyfriend nya... tapos anganda pa... hehehe... pero sabi ko sa kanya... mahirap naman kase di yung bestfriend nya ang mahal ko kundi sya... hehehe... so un... i think till dito muna...

im now here in the office na pala working... huh??? working??? este creating a post pala... hehe... waiting for a call or for an alarm... ehehe... laki ng dala ko bag ngayun kase fontana kame bukas, overnyt... sykes company outing namin... ansaya!!! woooooooohooooo!!!!!!!!! fontana here i come!!!!!!! hehehehe.... see yah guys on my next post... ienjoy nyu ang nobela ko... ;-)

*guys... kung may time pa kayu at di nyu pa natatry blog ni chona mae... basahin nyu... sasakit tyan nyu kakatawa... eto site nya,,, www.chona.blogspot.com

wala lang...

2005-06-17T00:52:00.000+08:00

first time ku lang mag-upload ng pics here... mejo natatanga pako... hehehe... i'lll post the newest ones laterrrr.... =)

2005-06-17T00:50:00.001+08:00

wala lang ulet

2005-06-17T00:50:00.000+08:00

hmmm

2005-06-17T00:49:00.000+08:00

wala lang ulet

2005-06-17T00:41:00.000+08:00

wala lang...

all falls down... (reprise)

2005-06-15T04:50:00.000+08:00

kagabi, pagkatapos ng trabaho at around 10:10pm, nagbus ako to harrison para pumunta sa condo nya... magkikita kame para mag-usap kung anung nangyari, anu nang nangyayari at anu nang mangayayri sa min dalawa... habang nasa bus ako... i was thinkin of what would be the most important questions that i should ask... at naisip ko... the question should only go down to two things... where do we stand now or what's our status now?... and do we still feel like being with each other? sa palgay ko when the two questions were answered right, we'll know kung anu dapat namin gawin...

at yun na nga... we met... at first, we were casual as if there's not a single prob between the two of us... tinanung ku sya kung san kame and we both agreed na sa rajah sulayman, kaso, when we got there, mainit at andaming tao so we decided to go to baywalk and find a nice spot to sit and talk each other's heart out... and there... silence started and i didnt know where i'd start the whole converasation... but sumbody needed to jumpstart it all... so nagsalita nako... i asked kung anu problema... sabi nya... di nya alam.... nalilito pa din sya... naguguluhan... natatakot... marami syang problema aside from the two of us... realizations and learnings from the past na ngayun nya lang napapagtuunan ng pansin... natatakot sya na masaktan ako kung magkamali sya ng decision... wala kameng point na mag-meet because our minds were clashing... actually, di kame pareho isip ginagamit... that's the reason why di kame magmeet.. i was using my heart while sya, ginagamit nya ang utak nya... nagclaclash ang mga ideas namin... sabi nya saken, di ku daw sya naiintindihan sa mga paliwanag nya kase mejo magulo talaga utak nya... sabi ku naman, naiintindihan ku sya at kunsakali na di ku na sya maintindihan at di ku na sya kayang intindihn pa sya, kahit anung mangyari, pilit ku pa din sya iintindihin dahil mahal ku sya...

kilala na nya kase ako... the first time pa lang kame magkakilala... hinubad ko ang buo kong pagkatao sa kanya... once kase na magaan ang loob ko sa isang tao, wala akong nakikitang reason para maging pretensious pa... i will speak my heart out kumbaga... kaya alam nya kung anung stand point ko... na i will only speak of what i feel for today... i'd like everything to happen spontaneously... ayoko na yung mga mangyayari bukas e pinlano mo na and then get frustrated or depressed kung di sya magmaterialize... i dont wanna see or try to anticipate what will happen tomorrow... pero who would not like his future to be on his side... di ba? kaya nga from the very start, i've never been a planner... though that doesnt mean na nagpapadala lang ako sa daloy... naniniwala din kase ako na what youre doin today gives a big impact to what might happen tomorrow... which simply means that your future will reflect on what you've done on your past... basta... initindihin nyu nalang.. hehe...

isa pa, problema nya din, di sya sigurado saken... but i can feel the past weeks we've been together na it's not just me who's happy... masaya din sya at nararamdaman ko yun... kaya tinanong ko sya... kung masaya ba sya nung magkasama kame? or kung napilitan ba sya sa lahat ng bagay na ginawa nya for me the times na magksama kame... kase sabi ko, at that moment, nafeel ko naman na masaya sya.. pero kahapon na nagkakaron sya ng duda sa feeligns nya, sabi ko, di ko ata masasabi just in case tanungin ako kung naging masaya sya kase my doubts na sya... and i asked kung kahit konti ay gustu nya ako... kase sabi ko, kung wala sya ng katiting na nararamdaman saken na special e e i'll let go kase di ko talaga ugaling mamimilit ng taong may ayaw saken... if it would happen the other way around, i myself, ayaw ko ng pinipilit... sabi nya di nya alam, sabi ko sya lang makaksagot nun... mejo magulo... ewan ko ba...

and ok.. continuing my story... t'was a little past 12mn na and we were not yet reaching to a mutual decision... usapan kase namin e till 12mn kase may class sya ng 7am that day... so nagstart na kame maglakad towards sulayman and we took the way na dinaanan namin when we first met... i tried explaining still kung anu sya para saken... without putting any pressure... sabi ko sa kanya... that's the last thing i wanna do.. yung ipressure sya... kase the point na minamahal ko sya eh masaya nako... kung mahalin nya ako... bonus na saken yun... pero sabi ko sa kanya, sana e wag nya akong iwan... and baka pwede na itry namin na "maglakad" lang.. sabi nga sa kanta... try and see where the road will lead us to... malay namin... pano makikita ang isang place na di mu pa napupuntahan... i said na kung di maganda yung place na yun, well at least we tried. we'll never know what will happen between the two of us tomorrow if we'll never try to be together today... sabi ko nga sa kanya... both options e masasakatan kame.. kase first option, give up what we have now.. masasaktan ako kase sobrang mahal ko sya, pero para sa kanya it would be better rather than saktan nya ako in the future... or try it now at kung di magwork e masaktan kame pareho... but the point is... if we give it up now, the thought will forever haunt us what if we tried it out and it worked out for the both of us... mas doble ang sakit di ba? so why not take the risk di ba? andami ko ng nabibigay na analogy... at andami pa sa utak ko... hehehe... i think i can better explain things kung ginagamitan ko ng basic analogy...

anyway... going back to my story... we've taken the same way we took the first time we met... buti nalang dun kame dumaan... kase mukhang bumalik yung dating sya na nakilala ko... and pumayag na sya na ituloy namin where we left off... sabi nya di saw sya napipilitan.. =) kaya sobrang saya ko... binalik ko ng eyeglasses nya pagdating sa harap ng condo nya... and i was joking.. sabi ko sa kanya, kaya ata nagulo utak nya e dahil sa salamin nya... naiwan nya kase saken nung saturday... hehehe...

haay... just a realization... all that's happening to us now... all falls back to only one thing... it's just what we feel now for each other... yun lang ang mahalaga... sabi ko nga sa kanya... kahit di sya mahilig sa starwars, gustu ko ishare ung principle ng mga jedi which is really applicable in real life...

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to...”

till my next article... sobrang haba na nito eh, di pa kumpleto... but pretty much the important details eh andito na... =)

eto...kanta ko nga din pala sa kanya...

2005-06-14T07:43:00.000+08:00

You are my song

You are the song playing so softly in my heart
I reach for you, you seem so near yet so far
I hope and I pray you'll be with me someday
I know down inside you are mine and I'm your true love
Or am I dreaming?

Chorus
How can I each time I try you say goodbye
You are there you look my way I touch the sky
We can share tomorrow and forever more
I'll be there to love you so
You are my song

I know for sure that we were meant to fall in love
I look in your eyes I know what you're thinkin of
I try not to say, the words might just scare you away
I know down inside you are mine
And I'm your true love, please no more dreaming

Chorus

Baby we can make it till forever
And i know that we can make it through
With you in my heart, in my soul,
you're my love, you're my song

You are my song...

hope you'd read this...

2005-06-12T13:29:00.000+08:00

I can wait forever

When you say, I miss the things you do,
I just wanna get back close again to you.
But for now, your voice is near enough,
How I miss you, when I miss you, love.
And though,
All the days that pass me by so slow
All the emptiness inside me flows, all around,
And there's no way out
I'm just thinkin' so much of you,
There was never any doubt...

CHORUS
I can wait forever, if you say you'll be there,
tooI can wait forever, if you will,
I know it's worth it all
To spend my life alone with you.

When it looked, as though my life was wrong,
You took my love and gave it somewhere to belong
I'll be here, when hope is out of sight,
I just wish that I was next to you tonight, and oh
I'll be reachin' for you even though,
You'll be somewhere else, my love will go
like a bird, on it's way back home
I could never let you go, and I just want you to know...

CHORUS

Where are you know?
Alone, with the thoughts we share
Keep them strong somehow,
And you know, I'll always be there...

I can wait forever, if you say you'll be there, too
I can wait, forever if you will, I know it's worth it all
To spend my life alone...
I can wait forever, if you say you'll be there, too,
I can wait, forever if you will, I can wait forever or more...I can wait forever...

haaaay.....

2005-06-11T21:28:00.000+08:00

Haay… grabe… di ko alam kung bakit nagkaganito nako… sobra kase ako magmahal… as in yun tipong wala ng natitira sa sarili ko.. at kahit konting posibilidad, di ku binibigyan an ang isang bagay kahit sobrang linis sapaningin natin eh maaring may konting di maganda pa rin… pag kase nagmahal ako, puro positive lang nasa isip ko… at pag may nangyaring di maganda… madedepress naman ako… kagaya ngayun… pinipilit ko pasyahin sarili ko at isipin na wala naman problema… pero alam ko at nararamdaman ko na meron… ang ganda ng takbo ng buhay ko ulet for almost the past two weeks… pero bakit parang nagbago ihip ng hangin… natatakot ako… sobra… na maiwan na naman ako mag-iisa… pinakamsakit para sakin ang maiwan na mag-isa… alam ko nanjan mga kaibigan ko para sumuporta pero iba pa din yung may inspirasyon ka… yung iniisp mo para ganahan ka sa mga ginagawa mo… puchang buhay nga lang toh… grabe magbiro… napakasakit… pag seryoso ka, makikipaglokohan sayu… pag nakikipaglokohan ka naman, gustu ka maging seryoso… isa ko pang kinatatakutan, pag may di magandang nangyari samin ngayun… di ku alam kung anu mangayayri saken… baka matakot na uli ako magseryoso sa relationship… ang hirap pag nahulog ka sa isang tao… at malalaglag ka nalang ng di mo alam… sa sobrang taas ng naabot mo… di mo man lang naisip na baka walang sumabot sayu… sabi nga sa kanta di ba…” now im fallin, fallin fast again…y do I always take a fall, when I fall in love…” kelan kaya ako matututo??? Eto ako ngayun… nagdadrama na naman… habang gustu mapag-isa ng mahal ko… gustu ku naman ng karamay dahil natatakot akong mag-isa… pero ang problema… wala mga kabigan ko ngayon… timing na timing… at yun na nga,… depressed na naman ako… kakatakot… baka mabaliw nako netoh… pero kunsabagay… baliw na nga pala ako sa kanya… hehehe… oo… at di ko alam kung bakit… tulungan nyo ako please… ayaw ko mapagod magmahal… pero pag may di mangyaring maganda… mukhang mahihirapan na ako ulet magseryoso… but still… … im still keeping my fingers crossed… kase nga mahal ko sya… mali pala… mahal na mahal… haaay…

2005-06-11T17:03:00.000+08:00

Your Deadly Sins

Greed: 40%

Lust: 40%

Pride: 40%

Sloth: 40%

Gluttony: 20%

Wrath: 20%

Envy: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 29%

You will die love and feared by many. And you'll be buried in a tomb.

How Sinful Are You?

i like this song, mejo matagal na din... but i like it better now... nakakrelate ako... =)

2005-06-10T16:09:00.000+08:00

You and Me - Lifehouse

What day is it? And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

I can't keep up and I can't back down

I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with

nothing to do

Nothing to lose

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming

out right

I'm tripping on words

You got my head spinning

I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with

nothing to do

Nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now

That I can't quite figure out

Everything she does is beautiful

Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people

with nothing to do

Nothing to lose

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

and me and all of the people

with nothing to do

Nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?

And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

di ku alam kung bakit...

2005-06-10T02:43:00.000+08:00

ewan ko... pero every single day, kasma ko sya o hinde, mas nag-grogrow ung feelings ko para sa kanya... yung feeling ko ngayn, parang yung feeling ko nung una akong nainluv... corny... kinakabahan... natatameme... ung tipong gagawin mu lahat kahit palagay mu e di mo kaya kase mahal mu yng tao... di ku alam bakit... kala ng mga kaibigan ko, baka bumalik na naman ako sa pagiging gago ko dahil sa nangyaring di maganda saken... pero sa pagkakataon na nakilala ko sya at ngayun na kinikilala pa namin ang isa't isa, mukhang mas malaki ipagbabago ko kase handa ako paka "straight" para sa kanya... at pag kasma ko sya... private man o public place... handa ata akong gawin lahat... at wala akong pakialam kung anu sasabihin ng mga tao sa paligid... di ku alam kung bakit... pero palagay ko... pag mahal mo isang tao... yun lang reason enuf na... ;)